The Good News: You're wearing a fireproof suit.
The Bad News: You have your balls in a crocodile's mouth while having your head stuck in a unicorn's anus.
The good news: You were turned to stone before that happened
The bad news: An 8 year old girl is trying to read the post above this post. (this is happening for real)
The good news: Everyone knows that Fox News isn't a candy store.
The bad news: I can't backspace on my computer! Notice that I have to use the insert function for when I make errors. It's hard. Anyways, the backspace key is working by the way.