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Are you tired of boredom! Shoot yourself with the brand new Headshot! A quality gun that doesn't just kill you, but the bullet locates your problems and kills them. You'll be so happy, you won't even realize that you are on fire! Just $60.00! You can even shoot yourself for the price your paying!!! Just call the number on your screen. No number? Then use the Headshot!
 
Kids! Kids! KIDS! What's fun, destructive, and colorful at the same time?! What will make your parents lose the remaining bits of faith in you?! What will make FBI hunt you down and put you in juvy?! THE NAPALM IN A CAN!!! That's right; destroy your neighbor's garage, ruin your older sister's boyfriend's car, set your homework on fire, watch robbers run away from your house screaming while enjoying your bottle of mountain dew! MOUNTAIN DEW!!! Napalm in a can is a perfect way to assure your parents that you will never get into college! I mean, who wants to get into some boring college, amirite?
Napalm in a can is now available at a price of $29.99, not including shipping and handling. We are not liable for any damages or injuries that will inevitably occur. Side effects are, but not limited to:
Heavy lawsuits issued by pissed off neighbors
Older sister putting itching powder in your socks
Flunking school
Pissed off robbers
Mountain flu
Missile toes
CALL NOW!
 
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